Both are equally offensive.

So, I don't need someone like Barack Obama, who so very closely associated himself with a clearly bigoted pastor for the last twenty years, to assume he can open a discussion about race with me, unless his approach had been, "here is the sin of my past, don't do as I did."

I realize that I'm walking into dangerous waters, not being a minority but discussing race. That fact in and of itself is sad; that our society frowns upon a non-minority discussing the issue of race, even though it concerns us all.

For even approaching the subject I take the risk of being called racist. But I don't care, because I know I am not racist, nor am I afraid of the "race-baiters" who might attack me simply because I have the courage to discuss the issue.

Do I know what it's like to walk in the shoes of a minority? No. But that doesn't mean I can't discuss something which affects all of us. This can't be a one-sided discussion, and no one should be cowed into avoiding it.

There was a time when the issue of racial inequality was presented very clearly to our country by great men like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and while he talked, other people just needed to be quiet, listen, and learn.

And although we might not yet have come all the way to where we need to be, we have come a long way. Things have changed, which means the shape of the discussion needs to change.

In today's world, many of us, from all different races, have had life experiences which transcend race.

As a Marine I've gone to war along side others from all different races. I've literally lived side by side with people from all walks of life during some of the toughest of times. There are people of all different colors I count as my good friends for whom I'd still fight viciously to the bitter end.

I have Iraqi friends I miss very much and pray they have come through the troubles there.

I have worked with some of the most persecuted people in the world, the Roma (or gypsy's as they're often called).

And most importantly, I teach my kids that skin color does not matter. Every person should be treated as the individual they are. Everyone deserves to be treated equally.

I know from experience that my views and experiences are not atypical. There are many, many others who see the issue as I do.

So, if we're going to have a dialogue on race, it can no longer be a one-sided discussion. It must include all tolerant individuals, those who truly want everyone on the same playing field.

At the same time, that dialogue must resist those like Jeremiah Wright and David Duke who are bigoted, inflame the subject, and preach separatism rather than finding ways to bring people together.

And it must be led, not by those who have sat idly by for 20 years tolerating bigotry, but by those who have not.

Put people like my old commanding officer, a black man who was equal and fair to all, in the same room with my pastor, a white man from whom I've never seen even a sliver of bigotry, and let them lead the discussion on race.

Let those who aren't even slightly racist or tolerant of bigotry take the lead on the issue, not those who refused to act until a political career was at stake.

If we're truly going to move forward, the stereotyping and bigotry among all and by all must stop, and the discussion must include all. Until we do that, race will continue to create divides, especially when there are those whose success depends upon division.

Equality comes when everyone is treated the same, and it stands a better chance of being achieved in our time if we change with the times, and allow everyone a seat at the table to discuss how we can achieve it.

There was a time when it might have been okay for this to be a one-sided discussion, but that time is over. It is past the time for all of us to step up, to be able to step up, and discuss our differences en route to championing those things we have in common while resisting those who emphasize our differences to maintain divides.