OK, so I never claimed to be an honors student. How do you think a guy winds up being a sports writer, anyway?

During that phase of "higher learning," one of my favorite items was a weekly column written by Larry King, which was normally tabbed "Kings Things." It's not that I'm necessarily a huge Larry King fan (I haven't watched his TV show but more than a couple of times in my life, and besides, who can stomach CNN?) but there was something about that column that always made it a must-read for me.

King's last column for USA Today was published on Sept. 23, 2001. But, from the category of better late than never, here's my tribute to King's now-defunct collection of weekly ramblings:

Greetings, Central Nebraskans. Welcome to another edition of "TD's things" otherwise known as: What I'm writing to fill space because I couldn't come up with a column idea this week. So the Nebraska football spring game is Saturday. Tickets that were sold for $10 a month ago are supposedly going for $100, maybe more. As Denver Nuggets guard Allen Iverson would say, "What are we talking about, practice? Not a game, we're talking about practice, man. How silly is that, we're talking about practice? Do like the idea of new Nebraska coach Bo Pelini and his staff drafting players for the Red-White game. It might not look as pretty on Saturday, but it sure beats former coach Bill Callahan's spring annual approach of watching the varsity rout the JV. Speaking of Callahan, think he'll enjoy reading the Sports Illustrated article, headlined "Nebraska Lost, Nebraska Found," out on newsstands this week? Which part of the equation do you suppose Billy C. fits into? For my money, Jimmy John's No. 2 with cheese and all the freebies is the best sandwich in town. Bar none. Just ask for "The Deuce." Cornhusker baseball scribes certainly got a kick out of Wichita State coach Gene Stephenson Tuesday night following the No. 5-ranked Shockers' 3-0 loss at No. 9 Nebraska. The old-school coach ripped his team a new one in the dugout and then cracked up reporters, responding to a question about if the length of the road trip to Creighton and Nebraska had gotten to his team. "Hell, we've been gone five nights. (Shoot), what's the big deal? I guess maybe they've been away from their girlfriends for a couple of days, I mean, my gosh. Woo, woo, woo softies." ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption" is great, but Tony Kornheiser's radio program, aired from 7-9 a.m. CDT weekdays on www.3wtradio.com, gives you the full "Mr. Tony" experience. If you can't listen live, do yourself a favor and download a podcast version. You'll thank me for it. After more than 10 years on the job, just found out that the Grand Island Senior High baseball team isn't allowed to practice on its home field at Ryder Park more than a handful of times a year. That's ridiculous. How can the Islanders be expected to compete at a high level in Class A when they're throwing off Pony League mounds 4-5 days a week? Can't wait for the next season of "Rescue Me" on FX. Dennis Leary is pure genius. Made it out to watch the ponies at Fonner Park last weekend. Sure is strange not to see Rob Williams in the irons, but horsemen tell me his son, Dylan Williams, sits a horse just like the old man used to. Nobody asked me, but Elle MacPherson is the greatest supermodel of all-time, edging out Heidi Klum at the wire. Then again, Elle never made a Volkswagen blush. I'm not saying that my kids are bad boys, but the other day they got in trouble at school for fighting each other. Who needs bullies when you've got brothers? Isn't anybody just a baseball fan anymore? Mentioned in the Haymarket Park press box Tuesday night that good buddy Joe Kutlas was bumming because Indians closer Joe Borowski stinks to high heaven. "Why would he have drafted Borowski?" asked a fellow ink-stained wretch, probably involved in 18 different fantasy leagues. "He didn't draft him, he's actually a fan of the team," I said. Kids. It says here that locking up Nebraska men's basketball coach Doc Sadler was the right move. Sure, nobody's satisfied with going to the NIT, but this Sadler guy can coach 'em up. Connie Yori does the same for the Husker women. I've said it before, I'll say it again: "The Doug and Daddy Show" is the best thing to happen to radio in Central Nebraska. Duda, you can mail that check now. Whatever happened to Curt Dukes?